Signs from Above !??

Good Friday 2003

My visit today - We encountered 3 eagles flying around - 1 perched in a tree. There were also 6 sea lions barking outside the Cannery up the slough and the 2 local Swans were also there--- I KNOW 'DEREK' WAS THERE TODAY TOO!!! It was such a treat to be able to see most of the wildlife that Derek had told me about - all in one visit. I can now hardly wait to get this bench in place and be able to just go and sit there - be closer to Derek and share the moments of Nature.

Easter Sunday 2003

Got up and when I looked out the window a butterfly flew by - circled around the balcony for a few minutes. Went to Bird Sanctuary saw 6 baby goslings. stopped at Wellington Park saw more sea lions and eagles.

Things that make you go Hmmmmm...... Signs???

Nov. 4, 2003

Saw more SeaLions at the Memorial bench - each time I have gone they have been there - a sign from my guys?? !!!

Nov 7, 2003

Yesterday I went with a friend to Derek's bench by the river and the sea lion was there on the dock again, sitting up - every time I have gone since Colin's passing, the sea lion has been there. Underneath Derek's bench were 2 bottle caps - my first thought was that some of his friend's had been there - then I wondered if it was Derek & Colin who had left there sign for me - they are together and sat and had a drink together. The other day when I was clearing out some of the flowers around here I found 2 pennies in one of the vases??? another sign from my guys?? I find comfort in these things.

Nov 11, 2003

Today I went to Derek's bench and collected the 2 bottle caps from underneath as they were still there - never seen the caps before - gold/bronze colour with white mountains and a river flowing... I will have to go to the liquor store(?) to see what kind it is. Possibly Kokanee Gold?? I figure Derek & Colin stopped by for a beer and left their sign. They both know how much I love the snowcapped mountains and the water - whether be ocean, rivers, or waterfalls. It totally caught me off guard the picture on the caps - Colin drank Kokanee and Derek drank Canadian...and it wasn't either - something new?? A heavenly brand????

Nov 13, 2003

On my way home from Tws. I stopped at some traffic lights out on the farm lands where the traffic to the ferry passes by and 2 EAGLES flew overhead - I though Derek & Colin out cruisin, checking up on me to guide me home safely as I was pretty worn out from an appt I had had.

It was such a comfort to see these eagles.. I later went with a friend out to Derek's bench - it is a gorgeous sunny, crisp day here, the water was calm the seagulls were all around and a few sealions out in the river again.

Nov 16, 2003

Yesterday I found a British Coin under the foot of the bed on Colin's side - (He was born in England and came to Canada in 1975).

I had been under the bed the other day getting out a poster for Stephanie (my daughter) when I put things back I didn't get them right under. Yesterday I kept bumping into the stuff, so I pulled them out to rearrange and this is when I found the coin a one shilling. I know it wasn't there the other day. Last week too I found another British coin on my dresser - I had seen it and thought it was a dime until I picked it up and turned it over a British coin.... Colin has been around...

SIGNS ????

It was Sunday August 25, 2002 I was driving back to my campsite where my sister had stayed while I went out to dinner with my friend, Colin. I recall driving back along the Chilliwack River - It was so dark and eerie - and then - the 'Full Moon' came up over the hillside. I was glad for the light to shine upon me. I love the Moon and Nature.
On Monday we were driving home from our holiday and I remember a strange feeling inside - 'an uncertain feeling' - not sure of what it was. Something just didn't feel right !?
Then came Tuesday August 27, 2002 - my Birthday. We went out for a family dinner. I remember sitting after dinner thinking to myself - 'This Birthday feels different?? WHY??' I thought for a moment - No - it wasn't because Derek was away? It wasn't because my newfound sister was there? It wasn't because I now have a man in my life?
What Was it???
We got home and around 9:30 pm I got a call from Derek's boss saying they had reported Derek missing.. At first I thought - NO WAY !!!
He is to call me - for my Birthday, he said he would. I remember thinking that morning Hmm.Derek hasn't called - oh well.. - he will call tonight! - he usually calls at night around 11:30pm. I said 'No' - he is going to call me.

When we last talked on Aug. 19th he said he would call on my Birthday and he was all excited about his job and the Birthday Card he had bought for me. ( I since found the card in Derek's belongings when they were sent home via Greyhound- I Will CHERISH this FOREVER!!!))
This was the first time Derek had been away from home.
Needless to say - I never got my phone call - NOW my world was turning inside out - wondering WHAT!?!? Was going on.??
Wednesday morning I had to call the Police in Saskatoon to give my permission to release a photo of Derek on the Media. I never thought the worse - only hoped that he was at a friends??
My daughter and sister made a web site - 'Missing Person', which they blitzed the Saskatoon chat rooms with. This is were we met our Saskatoon Angel - Nicky - she kept us informed of the news releases, etc.
Derek's co-workers were making up posters to put up around town. I so badly wanted to hop on a plane - but was talked into staying put - in case he called home.
Thursday August 29th - still no word - time now became a blur. I do remember late in the day a friend saying, "have you got a map of Saskatoon?" I hesitated in going to my computer to get one, WHY?? - - I did and when I took it to my friends to look at and saw the river - I thought - he is in the river?? WHY?? I thought this?? I was all set to call the police in Saskatoon. It seemed then time stood still (about 1 hour later) I got the call a Mother never ever wants to receive.
Yes, Derek was in the river - His body had been found - 4 days later from when he was last seen. My WORSE NIGHTMARE started ----

As to how Derek ended up in the River is still a mystery to ALL!!.

His death is classed as a dry drowning (no water in the lungs) the cause of this

may never be known. It was treated as a suspicious death - but still NOTHING..

It could be a mere accident - falling asleep at the waters edge ???

Only GOD knows for sure !?!?!?
It was a 'Full Moon' Sunday a.m. August 25, 2002 and Derek was last seen around 2:45 a.m.heading for his home on the other side of the river.
I feel that the unsettled feelings I was experiencing were signs from Derek - a Mother's intuition? - the closeness of the bond we have with each other - But at the time I was unaware.
The day after I got the news - a Butterfly hung around the sundeck -
this has become Derek's symbol. My best friend gave me a friendship Angel for my Birthday - one holding a butterfly.. she didn't know about the butterfly that appeared and others continued to appear during the following weeks.
The picture we had made of Derek for his memorial has a window pane behind his head - a friend noticed - it is a cross right behind his head. Yes, there are signs - peaceful ones - which do help to some degree. But the depth of ones pain in such a loss goes so VERY DEEP into one's HEART!!!
I will continue to seek the signs of PEACE from My Precious Son 'Derek' and I PRAY - in time I TOO will find more peace within...