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IN MEMORY OF MY SON 'DEREK SEAN DYSON'
2003 / 2004
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OUR TRIP TO SASKATOON Nov. 29th, 2002 -DEREK'S 20TH
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2003 / 2004
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A NEW YEAR - A NEW LIFE ??
 
 

Why

As I look up into the beautiful sky
I can only ask myself one more time--why
Of course people tell me it was your time
But they don't know what it's like
to pretend to be fine
To live each day with the hurt and pain
From deep inside you don't know where it came
They don't know how it feels to have to live
Without the child who had so much to give
To go on and on and never know why
I can't understand no matter how hard I try
I try to be patient and not get mad
But of course I'll always be sad
There is such a void and emptiness inside
You can't imagine how much I've cried
And I know if I really knew why you had to leave
You still wouldn't be here
and I'd still be bereaved

Author Unknown

My Child, My Friend
Written by Clara Hinton | Sep 17, 2001


As parents, we often go through periods of wanting to rush our children
through certain different stages in life. We can't wait for the
terrible two's to end. Then, we move on to the stage where everything is
answered with a resounding "no!" From there, we struggle through the teen
years, which for many, are turbulent times that we often wish we didn't
have to experience with our children. Finally, our children reach an
adult level of maturity, and we can say the words, "My child is my most
wonderful friend."

Adult children can be such a pleasurable blessing. Somehow, we seem to
be able to forget the years of struggle, and we are finally able to
enjoy our child on a new level-a place of friendship. Because we have our
hearts linked together in parental love, the friendship is even more
beautiful than we imagined. We long to be together. We actually enjoy the
company of our child!

When an adult child dies, a parent's grief is quite often
misunderstood. So many times, well-meaning people think that an adult death is far
easier than the death of a much younger child because the adult child
was given more years in which to live out some of his dreams and to have
time experiencing life. The years lived on this earth create many
precious memories for parents and the loved one. The fact still remains that
"child loss causes dramatic changes. It will take several months for
you to readjust your thinking." (Silent Grief)

Losing an adult child is a double blow to a parent's heart. Not only
has a child been taken out of the natural order of life and death, but
often a best friend has been snatched away, too. There is a depth of
loneliness following the death of an adult child that very few people
understand.

How does a parent move through this double loss, the loss of losing a
child and a friend? It's not easy to move forward in this grief because
often we call on our friends to help us through life's most difficult
pain. When an adult child is lost, we've lost a best friend, too.

Parents who have lost an adult child should not try to rush through
this deep, lingering grief. Because this is a double grief, it becomes
more difficult to move forward. I know many, many parents who have lost
adult children, and there seems to be one overwhelming thing that is done
to help ease the pain. The parents keep visible pictures of the child
throughout the house. There is great comfort found in walking past a
picture, and having a physical reminder of wonderful moments together with
that child.

Society says that we should get back to work in three days, and move on
with our lives following the death of a child. Your heart will remind
you thousands of times, however, that your life has been torn apart by
grief. Listen to your heart, and give yourself the precious gift of
time. Get out the photo albums. Remember fishing trips, vacations, and
silly antics at birthday parties. Allow memories of your child, your
friend, to wrap your heart in daily comfort. Continue to remind yourself that
with each passing day your are moving forward in the most difficult
journey you'll ever take-walking through the grief of child loss.

YOU ARE NEVER FORGOTTEN

You are somebody that everybody knows
Wherever you are is where everyone goes
And I can't help but think about what I do now
Will I see you someday, will I find you somehow

The night follows day, the moon in the sky
The world keeps on turning and no one knows why
It goes and it comes it comes and it goes
Which ever direction nobody knows

Our times together though cut short were precious and dear
However it happened just may never be clear
I'm here but your gone I don't understand
But your leading the way always holding my hand

The night is too black those times I'm alone
The road seems to long, I wish you'd come home
And when the sun rises I look for you still
And then I remember and remember I will

The wind in the sails water covers the earth
The day of your birth and the day of your death
Mile after mile and after while the warmth of your heart
The shine of your smile they keep me going
The memories of love that's all I have left like the flight of a dove

Where are you now? Are you far, are you near?
Are you helping me live will you help make it clear
Wherever your going where ever you've been
Whomever you've known all of your friends

We all stand beside you we all love you still
We're missing you now and forever we will
We sing and we talk the world in our hands
We run and we walk while beside us you stand

For those who remain never let your love wait
When they're no longer here it's always too late
So we roll the days over again and again
And where we have ended, it's where we begin

And Yes -- stars they come and light -- yes they bring
The miracle of life a beautiful thing
We know not where we're goin' we just know where we've been
The days we shared together the memories that will never end

Author Unknown

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CLICK ON PHOTO's

 
 
GRIEVING SILENTLY

Why must I grieve silently,
When my heart is so loudly screaming?
The emptiness I feel is consuming me,
Oh God, how I wish I were dreaming.
The silence around me is deafening,
For nobody knows what to say,
To comfort this agony I'm feeling,
Since my son went away.
And each day the sun continues to rise,
And the earth is still turning,
Though my world has come to a screeching halt,
No one can ease my yearning.
For a part of me has vanished,
And a part of my heart has died,
And no one can hear my heartache,
Or feel the turmoil I carry inside.
And I'll go on grieving silently,
And exist on a different plane,
And I'll keep my love for him deep in my heart,
Until we see each other again.

Author Unknown

 

 

AWKWARD SILENCE

I wish that someone would say his name,
I know my feelings they're trying to spare,
and so we go through the charade, the game.

Of dancing around the ghost that is there,
trying to avoid evoking a tear, or
stirring emotions too painful to bear.

That he be forgotten is what I fear,
that no one will even his presence miss,
as if there were no trace that he was here.

By referring to him, my purpose is,
not to stir pity or keep things the same.
But my heart will simply break if his...
Memory will die like a flickering flame.
I wish someone would say his name.

Unknown Author

MADE   JANUARY 19, 2003
Wish we took the time to do one together !!
 
5 months ago was the last I talked to Derek on the phone -
MISS YOU 'SON'
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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p_dyson@telus.net

stephie_d69@hotmail.com

Thanks for dropping by to remember  'Derek'