As I look
up into the beautiful sky I can only ask myself one more time--why Of course people tell me it was your time But
they don't know what it's like to pretend to be fine To live each day with the hurt and pain From deep inside you
don't know where it came They don't know how it feels to have to live Without the child who had so much to give To
go on and on and never know why I can't understand no matter how hard I try I try to be patient and not get mad But
of course I'll always be sad There is such a void and emptiness inside You can't imagine how much I've cried And
I know if I really knew why you had to leave You still wouldn't be here and I'd still be bereaved
My Child, My Friend
Written by Clara Hinton | Sep 17, 2001
As parents, we often go through periods of wanting to rush our children through certain different
stages in life. We can't wait for the terrible two's to end. Then, we move on to the stage where everything is answered
with a resounding "no!" From there, we struggle through the teen years, which for many, are turbulent times that we often
wish we didn't have to experience with our children. Finally, our children reach an adult level of maturity, and we
can say the words, "My child is my most wonderful friend."
Adult children can be such a pleasurable blessing.
Somehow, we seem to be able to forget the years of struggle, and we are finally able to enjoy our child on a new level-a
place of friendship. Because we have our hearts linked together in parental love, the friendship is even more beautiful
than we imagined. We long to be together. We actually enjoy the company of our child!
When an adult child dies,
a parent's grief is quite often misunderstood. So many times, well-meaning people think that an adult death is far easier
than the death of a much younger child because the adult child was given more years in which to live out some of his dreams
and to have time experiencing life. The years lived on this earth create many precious memories for parents and the
loved one. The fact still remains that "child loss causes dramatic changes. It will take several months for you
to readjust your thinking." (Silent Grief)
Losing an adult child is a double blow to a parent's heart. Not only has
a child been taken out of the natural order of life and death, but often a best friend has been snatched away, too. There
is a depth of loneliness following the death of an adult child that very few people understand.
How does a
parent move through this double loss, the loss of losing a child and a friend? It's not easy to move forward in this grief
because often we call on our friends to help us through life's most difficult pain. When an adult child is lost, we've
lost a best friend, too.
Parents who have lost an adult child should not try to rush through this deep, lingering
grief. Because this is a double grief, it becomes more difficult to move forward. I know many, many parents who have lost
adult children, and there seems to be one overwhelming thing that is done to help ease the pain. The parents keep
visible pictures of the child throughout the house. There is great comfort found in walking past a picture, and having
a physical reminder of wonderful moments together with that child.
Society says that we should get back to work
in three days, and move on with our lives following the death of a child. Your heart will remind you thousands of
times, however, that your life has been torn apart by grief. Listen to your heart, and give yourself the precious gift
of time. Get out the photo albums. Remember fishing trips, vacations, and silly antics at birthday parties. Allow
memories of your child, your friend, to wrap your heart in daily comfort. Continue to remind yourself that with each
passing day your are moving forward in the most difficult journey you'll ever take-walking through the grief of child
YOU ARE NEVER FORGOTTEN
You are somebody that everybody knows Wherever you are
is where everyone goes And I can't help but think about what I do now Will I see you someday, will I find you somehow
night follows day, the moon in the sky The world keeps on turning and no one knows why It goes and it comes it comes
and it goes Which ever direction nobody knows
Our times together though cut short were precious and dear However
it happened just may never be clear I'm here but your gone I don't understand But your leading the way always holding
The night is too black those times I'm alone The road seems to long, I wish you'd come home And when
the sun rises I look for you still And then I remember and remember I will
The wind in the sails water covers the
earth The day of your birth and the day of your death Mile after mile and after while the warmth of your heart The
shine of your smile they keep me going The memories of love that's all I have left like the flight of a dove
are you now? Are you far, are you near? Are you helping me live will you help make it clear Wherever your going where
ever you've been Whomever you've known all of your friends
We all stand beside you we all love you still We're
missing you now and forever we will We sing and we talk the world in our hands We run and we walk while beside us you
For those who remain never let your love wait When they're no longer here it's always too late So we roll
the days over again and again And where we have ended, it's where we begin
And Yes -- stars they come and light
-- yes they bring The miracle of life a beautiful thing We know not where we're goin' we just know where we've been The
days we shared together the memories that will never end
CLICK ON PHOTO's
SILENTLY Why must I grieve silently, When my heart is so loudly screaming? The emptiness I feel is consuming me, Oh
God, how I wish I were dreaming. The silence around me is deafening, For nobody knows what to say, To comfort this
agony I'm feeling, Since my son went away. And each day the sun continues to rise, And the earth is still turning, Though
my world has come to a screeching halt, No one can ease my yearning. For a part of me has vanished, And a part of
my heart has died, And no one can hear my heartache, Or feel the turmoil I carry inside. And I'll go on grieving
silently, And exist on a different plane, And I'll keep my love for him deep in my heart, Until we see each other
wish that someone would say his name, I know my feelings they're trying to spare, and so we go through the charade,
Of dancing around the ghost that is there, trying to avoid evoking a tear, or stirring emotions too
painful to bear.
That he be forgotten is what I fear, that no one will even his presence miss, as if there were
no trace that he was here.
By referring to him, my purpose is, not to stir pity or keep things the same. But
my heart will simply break if his... Memory will die like a flickering flame. I wish someone would say his name.
MADE JANUARY 19, 2003
Wish we took the time to do one together !!
5 months ago was the last I talked to Derek on the phone -